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Tom has a big problem. He is an idiot. He is also a journalist. He writes stories for the newspaper. Every day, something goes wrong.
At Home
One morning, Tom wakes up late. “Oh no! I am late for work!” he shouts. He jumps out of bed, but his foot gets stuck in his blanket. He falls onto the floor and hurts his head.
“Great start,” he says.
He runs to the bathroom. He grabs his toothbrush and squeezes toothpaste onto it. But he misses. The toothpaste goes into his eye.
“ARGH!” he screams, blinking again and again.
Unable to see properly, he puts on a shirt. It is inside out. He does not notice. He rushes to the kitchen and makes coffee. But his cat, Mr. Whiskers, is feeling evil today. Mr. Whiskers runs between his legs.
The coffee spills all over Tom’s shirt.
“Oh shit!” Tom takes a deep breath. “It’s fine. Everything is fine.”
He changes his shirt and runs out the door.
Answer: He is a journalist.
Answer: Into his eye.
Answer: Mr Whiskers.
At the Shop
Tom needs a notebook. He goes to the shop. A big sign says: “BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE!”
Tom grins. He grabs two notebooks and goes to the counter.
“That will be five dollars,” the shopkeeper says.
“But the sign says ‘buy one, get one free,’” Tom argues.
“Yes,” the shopkeeper says. “You buy one today. Next time, you get the free one.”
Tom stares at him. “What if I die tomorrow?”
The shopkeeper does not care. “Then no free notebook”, he replies.
Tom sighs. He buys one notebook and leaves.
“Next time, I will read the small words on the sign,” he thinks to himself..
Answer: Buy one get one free.
Answer: Two.
Answer: Next time he comes to the shop.
At the Office
Tom arrives at work. His boss, Mr. Shigiri, is not happy.
“Tom, you are late. Again.”
“Boss,” Tom says, “I had a morning from hell. My toothbrush attacked me, my cat betrayed me, and the book shop tricked me.”
Mr. Shigiri sighs. “Just write your story.”
Tom sits down. He opens his notebook. Oh no. He forgot his pen.
“Sarah,” he whispers to his colleague. “Can I borrow a pen?”
“Sure,” Sarah says. “But be careful. It’s my lucky pen.”
Tom starts writing. He writes fast. Too fast. The pen slips from his hand and flies through the air.
It hits Mr. Shigiri on the head.
“TOM!”
“Sorry, boss!”
“Just finish your damn story!”
Tom picks up the pen. He must be more careful.
Answer: His pen.
Answer: His colleague, Sarah.
Answer: Because he is writing too fast.
At the Bus Station
After work, Tom goes to the bus station. He waits for his bus. He sees an old lady with a big bag.
“Do you need help?” Tom asks.
“Oh, thank you!” the old lady says.
Tom picks up the bag. It is VERY heavy. He falls backward. The bag flies into the air. Apples roll everywhere.
“Oh dear!” the old lady says.
“I am so sorry!” Tom says. He picks up the apples.
“Thank you, young man!” the lady says.
Tom smiles. Then he sees his bus.
It is leaving.
“Oh bollocks!,” he screams. “Now I have to wait for the next one.”
Answer: An old lady.
Answer: Apples.
Answer: Because he was helping the old lady.
At the Bank
The next day, Tom goes to the bank. He wants to take out money. He stands in a long line. He waits. And waits. And waits.
Finally, it is his turn.
“Hello! I need to take out fifty pounds,” Tom says.
“Can I see your ID?” the banker asks.
Tom reaches for his wallet.
It is not there.
He checks his pockets. No wallet.
He checks his bag. No wallet.
“I think… I left my wallet at home,” Tom says.
The banker smiles. “Come back later!”
Tom replies. “I need a new brain.”
Answer: 50 pounds.
Answer: His wallet.
Answer: Tom’s ID.
At The End Of The Day
Tom always gets into trouble. But he tries his best. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.
… Probably not.
